Bitter

I realized that I'm filled with this awful bitter resentment towards everything and everyone, most of it undeserved and even that which is deserving shouldn't have gone on for this long. I look at new people and new experiences with distrust or disdain. I pretend it's because I'm mature but I think it's really just because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of making mistakes and being hurt and it's holding me back and has really been a big fat unhealthy part of my life. I want to smile and feel confident about myself and look forward towards to the future, not down at my feet at all the dirt I've collected.