My roommate's really interested in this guy she met through one of their mutual acquaintances. Apparently they have a lot in common, and she's never had a guy pay so much attention to her so flirt so outlandishly. He gave us a ride to the store last night and when we got to the car he opened the door for both of us. I told him that was great, because a true gentleman doesn't only open the door for his date--he'll open it for his date's friends! But it was a mistake. When we got to the store, he pulled into a parking spot and I started to unbuckle my seat belt. "Wait, stop!" he said. (Shouted, more like.) I felt guilty because I was taught at some point growing up not to unbuckle your seat belt until the car's engine had been turned off, but then he whipped out of the driver's seat and came around the car to open our doors. "Oh no you don't!" I said and I flung my door open before he could reach it. Then we got into the STUPIDEST mini-argument about how he wanted to open my door but I can open it myself thanks God gave me fingers and I wasn't going to sit there waiting for him to come around when I could do it myself and what if there was a fire, I might burn to death. He told me that I wasn't letting him be a gentleman and that all I had to do was wait in the car and that I wasn't giving him the opportunity to serve. What an idiot! I think I really just had a problem with him telling me to STOP when I was letting myself out of the car.
But what thoroughly depressed me is that my roommate sat quietly and facing forward in the passenger seat and waited for him to open the door for her (after our mini-argument) and then quietly said to me "He was just being a gentleman and I like that." I don't ever want to marry someone who won't let me let myself out of the car. That's not being a gentleman, that's being a chauvinist. There are other ways to show respect for women. Enough doors are closed to us and if only men would get out of the way, we could open them.
I know there's at least one general authority's wife who has never opened her own door since they got married if he was with her. I think that's sweet in a way, but I think it's ridiculous for him to get upset at you for letting yourself out. Ben would always open my door for me but it didn't feel sweet, because it was also kind of pompous and weird. Like when he'd salute people he respected. Yeah.)
ReplyDeleteIf I was on a fancy date with my charming boyfriend, he'd dashingly dash to my door and open it with a grin, but he wouldn't command me to not open my door when we pulled into the grocery store. Seriously.
It's like the home teachers who demand to give you a blessing if you sneeze. We don't demand that boys let us make them sandwiches; they shouldn't demand we let them open our doors.